I am in late middle age - I think! - and I have two adult children and I live with a long term partner who is definitely not into spanking. Ah well. We love each other very much, but maybe not enough for either of us to change. "I'd do anything for love, but not that." I think maybe my rather obsessive concern with trying to make the emotional experience of the spankee as vivid and real as possible is directly related to my enormous lack of experience of the real thing.

I would have been about five when I had my earliest remembered spanking fantasy, an Enid Blytonesque thing about a little girl who trespasses into a witch's cave and gets beaten with a magic cane. But up to eleven or twelve or so most of my fantasies had me as a schoolboy who was always getting flogged for covering up for a friend's misdemeanours, or as a prince's whipping boy. Very noble. The Headmaster was almost in tears. Then I hit puberty, and it was M/F all the way. I started writing them down around 13/14, and I've never stopped. When I was younger they were quite angry stories, but now I'm fascinated especially by cold judicial punishments. My favourite situation is the queue for correction. For me a good story is one that makes me feel completely breathless with shame, fear and the inevitability of punishment. I have been wondering whether my emotional identification with the (female) spankee punished by a stern man means that my underlying orientation has become M/M.

Sharing stories with like-minded people is very important to me.