by Emma Greenfield
I was an underachiever and I was loving it.
Work ethic was something other people had; I preferred to do the things that came easy for me. That's why I didn't go to college for more than three days. That's why I settled for a waitressing job - I got good tips - and that's why, when the economy crashed, I fell flat on my face and my first instinct was to reach out for someone to help me up instead of getting up myself.
When I was eighteen, my parents both died in a scuba diving accident off the coast of Aruba. It was the first vacation they'd taken in years and they decided to splurge after I moved out of the house. I can still remember being jealous and grumpy when I dropped my excited parents off at the airport. They were going away for three weeks and I was angry because there was some festival I wanted Dad to drive me to.
They enjoyed three days of relaxation and sun before going out on the water with the wrong scuba guide. He gave them faulty equipment. I never got the whole story, but I understood that Mom wasn't able to draw in air and Dad tried to help. I don't know. I hate thinking about the fear they must have felt.
When my bank went under during the crash and I lost my grand total of three hundred and forty-four dollars, I wasn't the only one who felt the shifting of the economy. A lot of businesses went belly up and my friends and I lost our jobs. No one could afford rent. So I called Aunt Lily and Uncle Cillian, which was probably the lowest point in my life.
Mom and Aunt Lily had hated each other from birth. I don't know if there was a good reason, they just refused to find any common ground and stay there. Their feud spread to their husbands and even their kids... which was unfair, because I was an only child and they had six kids. Six against me did not a happy extended family make. Luckily, I rarely saw them since they lived out of state.
Until now. Until everything fell apart and I had to crawl, begging like a loser, to their doorstep. Worse yet, I had to ask them to pay for my bus ticket there.
I counted on my fingers the six cousins I barely knew as I sped down the highway on the Greyhound bus. Finn(14), Evie(14), Drake(17), Carly(17), Bella(18), and Aaron(20). I hated them just for being named in alphabetical order. How stupid.
I wasn't sure how living with them would work out. I had Instagram - stalked them and found that Aaron was out of the house but going to the local university. Then there were five others, plus their parents.
Aunt Lily was a publicist who worked from home. Uncle Cillian was a plastic surgeon with his own practice. I got the impression that they were really well off, which might have been the reason they allowed me to come live with them in these hard economic times.
The world outside the window caught my attention once we arrived at Chester Springs. The local university was small, but prestigious, and the town looked well off. There were lots of trees and parks, new buildings and even a couple of pretentious roundabouts.
When the bus pulled to a stop, I grabbed my small bag and got off. I looked around for Aunt Lily and found her waiting at the edge of the seating area. She looked cross. I sighed and headed for her.
Aunt Lily was taller than my mom; it was as if she had stolen all the big genetics in the womb from her twin. Where Mom had been petite, Aunt Lily was broad. Mom and I both had small breasts, but Lily was well endowed, although Mom swore hers got bigger overnight when she was twenty-eight. She had light brown hair which was naturally curly.
I got my mom's wavy hair and my dad's brown coloring. I was petite like Mom was and had dark eyes and full lips. I didn't look anything like Lily, which I was grateful for.
Because she looked so put out, I stomped over to her. I'd offered to take a cab but she'd insisted on picking me up.
"Zoe," she greeted me, scanning my clothes and finding them unworthy of her delicate sensibilities.
I was wearing high rise jean shorts with a casual t-shirt tucked into them. I wore a padded bra. I looked hot.
"Dinner's waiting at the house. Are you hungry?" she asked.
I nodded, then followed her to her SUV. We didn't talk for much during the drive. I stared out the window, feeling grumpy and wanting to lash out at something. Then I reminded myself that I needed Aunt Lily and Uncle Cillian. If I didn't have them, I'd be out on the street. Well, more likely I'd crash with a friend of a friend for a few days, then I'd be out on the street. It was scary. I'd never been without a web of support from friends, but it was every girl for herself now.
"Uhm, thank you, Aunt Lily," I told her, breaking the silence in the car.
"You're welcome," she said. Smugly, I thought.
"I hope it's not too much trouble for you and Uncle Cillian."
"We can manage. I had to reduce my work hours a month ago and Cillian is seeing fewer patients, but we'll be fine. You'll need to follow the house rules. We do things in our own way and we expect you to as well."
"I will," I said.
"Finn and Drake share a room, and Evie and Carly share another. Bella is staying home while she goes to college, but I'm having Carly move into her room so you can bunk with Evie."
I nodded. I didn't ask why I didn't share with Bella since she was the oldest and it seemed more reasonable I should share with her than a fourteen-year-old.
But then again, Bella had never liked me. I remembered Evie as a small, cute girl who hung back while Bella and Aaron pestered me at family reunions. I was the same age as Aaron, and Bella had always been big like her mom.
We pulled into the driveway of a large suburban house with a clean front lawn, the obligatory tall old tree out front, and gray shutters against the white paneled siding. It was a huge house which looked exactly like the place a plastic surgeon would plant his family.
Inside, it was tidy as if five kids didn't live here. It was also quiet. Aunt Lily placed her keys in a bowl by the door and put her purse down. The duffel bag I carried looked scruffy in comparison to this place. It occurred to me to wonder if I'd ever be so successful that I could have a house this nice. I doubted it.
It was a depressing thought. But then I remembered my parents' cottage-like house set far back on the property surrounded by greenery. That had been a home. That was the kind of house I wanted for my own kids someday.
Aunt Lily led me upstairs and down the hall to my new bedroom. On either side were twin beds. Seventeen-year-old Carly had left her mark; there were a few ripped corners from posters stuck to the wall. My new side of the bedroom looked barren compared to the other side which Evie, aged fourteen, had made her own. A soft white curtain hung from a peg on the ceiling so it draped around her bed. She had stuffed animals on the floor and a book open on the bed. The room had a wallpaper pink line at waist height and was painted a mist gray on top and a subdued pink on the bottom.
Aunt Lily tapped the white dresser. "You can put your clothes in here. Is this all you have?"
I nodded. "I had to sell my stuff."
"I can find you some hand-me-downs," she said.
We stood there for a silent moment. Then I thought she might say something about my mom, her sister, but she only said, "The kids are coming home soon and dinner will be ready in an hour."
When I was alone, I opened my bag and removed my stuff. I had a few shorts and t-shirts. I also had the book Mom had been reading when they'd been on vacation. It had a few bent corners and smelled good. I put it, along with my clothes, into the top drawer which could have held twice as much.
Downstairs, the front door closed and a girl's voice called out. I went to see which cousin it was. It was Evie, shucking off her shoes and placing them in one of the cubbies that lined the hall. There were eight of them, each labeled.
She smiled at me and it was refreshing to see that the feud hadn't infected every corner of the family. "Hi, you're Zoe. I remember you."
I smiled and leaned against the banister above her. "I remember you, too. You ate too many cupcakes and threw up."
Her face twisted at the memory. Then she said, "You'll be sharing my room. Do you think that's all right? I can help you decorate your side."
"Thanks. Your side is nice."
She shrugged. "Dinner's almost done. You should come down."
So I did, feeling a lot better.
As we set the large table in the dining room, Evie asked me about my life back in California. I tried to make it sound interesting even though there wasn't much to do except go to the mall. But she sounded excited and told me all the places she planned to visit: every state in the US. Then she listed the countries she intended to visit before she went off to college.
More cousins began to arrive. Bella, a younger version of her mom, greeted me, then her mom before going to her room. Finn, aged fourteen, came in, called out a hello, then dropped onto the couch to play on his phone. Drake, who was seventeen, wheeled his bike around back to the shed, then came in through the kitchen.
"Wash your hands, Drake," I heard Aunt Lily say.
Carly was the last to arrive, coming in after we'd all sat down.
"Where's Dad?" she asked, out of breath.
"He's working late. Did you finish your homework?" asked Aunt Lily.
"Yes," she said tartly.
I received glances and a few hellos. We might be blood, but I felt like a stranger here.
After dinner, I followed Aunt Lily into the attic. It could have been a large living space except that it had become dedicated to storage. There were dozens of plastic bins. How did a family accumulate so much stuff? There were bins for Xmas and Easter, baby clothes and art projects.
We stopped at a row with labels like: Bella 8-9, and Drake 4-5. When she opened the Bella 8-9 bin I saw clothes for a young girl, somewhat out of date.
"Do you keep all their clothes?" I asked, peeking into a bin labeled, Bella 16-17.
Aunt Lily came to my side. She lifted out a tight t-shirt with leopard print on a bright pink background. It reminded me of high school when I dressed as a scene chick. I would have worn a studded belt over it, low on my hips.
"Yes. It's the best way to save instead of buying new clothes for each of them."
I found a dress which was nice, but when I held it up to myself, it was too big.
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