by Rue Chapman
"You don't have to do this."
"Yes I do."
"Mike said he'd do it when he got back."
"He's said that for three weeks. The goldfish can't wait any longer."
"Do you even know HOW to clean the pond filter?"
"Mike does it. How hard can it be? Our dear brother can't dress himself without help." Maddie surveyed the pond in the front yard. "Mike's been promising to do it for weeks. The waterfall stopped running two days ago - that filter must be totally clogged. And I don't want to be knee deep in dead goldfish."
Kelly shrugged. "Well, it's your choice. But don't ask me to help, I'm not going to end up covered in pond slime. I'm going out tonight."
Maddie growled and flicked the switch to turn the filter pump off, then advanced on the pond. Sharing a house with her younger brother and sister had seemed like a good idea at the time - when you live in a small country town you'll agree to anything to get the chance at life in the big city. Kelly was studying Fine Arts at university, and their brother Mike was enthusiastically pursuing a career as an assistant to the assistant to a sidekick to an under-something-or-other on the outer fringes of the music industry. He mostly seemed to get coffee and take messages, but they were very important messages for people further up the ladder.
And Maddie worked full time in the public library, and part time waiting tables in a nearby restaurant, and kept the house running. "Maddie is our little mother hen," her parents would tell everyone proudly, "always looking after the younger ones."
Maddie sometimes wondered why nobody ever thought she needed looking after, too. But somebody had to keep things going, and Kelly needed time and energy for study, and Mike was trying to break into the music industry... and Maddie worked two jobs, did all the housework, and cleaned the pond filter because Mike was too busy and she didn't like dead goldfish.
"And that's enough whining," she muttered to herself, "Nobody's listening to that. And the Cinderella routine got old a long time ago. Besides, fairy godmothers are pretty thin on the ground around here."
She uncovered the filter, small and barrel-shaped, buried in the ground behind the pond. Sitting on a convenient rock, she wrestled the fastenings open. "No no NO!" Two nails broken, and she'd barely started. Her nails were her one little luxury - and now they were ruined. She'd have to put up with it for a week until her next infill - she couldn't afford an extra visit. "Wave your wand and fix that one, Fairy Godmother." She carefully removed the lid. "Phew! Oh lovely, I'm going to smell like muck after this." A solid mass of stinking green algae oozed around her hands as she took the first spongy ring out of the filter. It was clogged solid. She dropped it into the bucket beside her, spraying slime in a wild arc all around her, and reached for the second one. Even worse. The third and final sponge - the finest one - was so slippery it dropped from her hands, sending up a wild spatter of dark green muck. Huge dark spots covered her clothes, even her face. "Oh DAMN! When I find that fairy godmother, I'm snapping her wand in two. Even Cinderella didn't have to do pond filters."
She tried to wipe the worst of the muck off her face, managing to smear the green slime all over before she gave up.
By the time the large, spongy rings had been rinsed clean (well, a bit cleaner than they were - she couldn't do miracles) Maddie was adorned with enough green to pass as a displaced Martian. She stomped back to the pond. "You'd better appreciate this, you scaly little fin people!" and reassembled the filter. It took some wrestling, some stomping, and another broken nail before the lid was fastened. Then she squelched over and flicked the switch and... nothing. No humming, no pumping, no water on the waterfall. Dead pump. She flicked the switch a few more times to make sure.
"Oh wonderful. Now the pump's burned out. Listen, FG, when you finally flutter in here you can jolly well fix the pump. And I'd like a self-cleaning filter. And repair my nails. Oh, and drop me off a handsome prince, too."
She stomped back to the filter and grabbed the bucket, then pushed the rocks back into place.
"Hello?"
Funny, she didn't realise goldfish could talk. Maddie glared at the pond suspiciously.
"Hello?"
She glanced around the rocks. If that was a talking frog, it could damn well ask someone else to kiss it.
"Uh, can you hear me?"
She glanced around. It wasn't a frog. "What do you know, she delivered."
"What?" He looked confused. Very cute, and confused. "Does Kelly Foster live here?"
Of course. Naturally. The closest thing to a handsome prince in the neighbourhood, and he was one of Kelly's string of admirers. "Aim's a bit off, FG, you delivered to the wrong sister. Again."
Daniel looked at the figure crouching by the pond. It was apparently female, covered in dark green slime, and muttering to itself. Possibly a new fashion in garden gnomes. He didn't think it'd take off. Although she had the most beautiful eyes - green, to match the slime she was wearing. "Uh, is ..?"
"Kelly's inside. In the house. There. The big brick thing. Go."
Maddie considered throwing herself in the pond to drown, but she'd probably squash a goldfish. Of COURSE she'd meet the best-looking guy she'd ever seen when she looked like the creature from the black lagoon. But what did it matter - he belonged to Kelly.
When he was safely inside the house she booted the plastic bucket across the lawn - gaining another layer of spatter in the process, not that it mattered now - and squelched around to the back door. She could hear voices from the lounge room at the front of the house, so she scuttled across the family room to the bathroom.
She soaped, and scrubbed, and shampooed, and then did it all over again. Twice. Might as well take her time, Kelly and her new toy would be long gone. Maddie helped herself to Kelly's avocado face mask - surely she was owed SOMETHING for all her hard work. She slathered it on her face, it seemed to be her fate to be covered in green goo today. Might as well go for broke - she combed a special treatment lotion through her hair, then twisted it all up and put an old shower cap on to keep the moisture in. Then she reached for a towel -
No towel.
Of COURSE no towel, it was that sort of day. It was Kelly's job - one of her few chores - to put clean towels in the bathroom.
Maddie fumed as she stomped out of the bathroom, down the hall and through the family room. The laundry was actually a large cupboard to one side of the kitchen. She yanked the door open, to find a pile of unsorted laundry big enough to need Sherpas to climb. It was Kelly's job to sort out the clean laundry and put it away - Maddie, of course, did the washing. As well as most of the other work around the house. Kelly's main - and, apparently, only chore was sorting and putting clean laundry away - she never seemed to do anything else. "Nice to see you're not in any danger of dying from overwork, K." She grabbed a towel from the pile, then turned and stomped across the kitchen again. She was halfway across the family room before she realised she wasn't alone.
Daniel wondered about the etiquette in this situation. Just how do you start a conversation with a naked lady? A deep-seated sense of self-preservation told him that 'You have a very nice bottom' would be a phenomenally bad choice as a conversation opener. As would, 'You jiggle delightfully' and 'I like the way the water drips off your...' No, bad choice. Bad. She'd bounced through the room, right past him, her skin glowing pink from the shower, still wet and glistening. Lovely full breasts, a slim waist, softly rounded tummy, firm thighs. He'd glimpsed a silky triangle of fine hair at the top of those thighs - not that a gentleman would look, of course. And her bottom - it was superb. Full and rounded, with just enough sassy bounce as she moved - he'd really love to pay that bottom a compliment.
But it might be a good idea to be introduced first. That sense of self-preservation was working overtime, telling him to keep his eyes up high. She had some pale green stuff all over her face, and a rather tatty shower cap covering her hair, but Daniel knew that letting his eyes wander to the delights further down would be bad for his health.
"I'm Daniel Crawford." He didn't offer to shake hands - hers were occupied keeping the towel in place.
"I thought you'd gone. You and Kelly. Gone."
"No, I'm still here." First prize in the Stating the Totally Obvious Competition goes to...
"Oh."
"You're dripping on the carpet."
For one glorious moment Daniel considered offering to help towel her dry. "Maybe you should... perhaps you'd better go and get some clothes...?"
She gave an embarrassed squeak and scampered down the hallway. Daniel enjoyed the view.
Maddie washed off the face mask and hair treatment, then used the towel to dry off. So she'd wandered around totally naked in front of a complete stranger. So what! She'd just proved that you really can't die of embarrassment - you just wish you could. But she'd handle the situation in a mature, sensible way. She'd simply hide in her bedroom until he left. She scuttled across the corridor to her bedroom, and grabbed the uniform she wore for the restaurant. Kelly drifted into the room. "Can I borrow those black shoes of yours?"
"Why are you still here? Why didn't you take your pretty little partner and GO?"
Kelly blinked at Maddie. "Take who? Oh, that man? He's not mine, but he is very cute, isn't he! Maybe I'll ask him to go with me - there's a great new band we're all going to see tonight."
Maddie tried to button her blouse and wriggle into her skirt at the same time, "What do you mean he's not yours? He asked for you."
"Oh, that's just because I come before you alphabetically. So my name's first on the lease."
"On the WHAT?"
Kelly paused in the doorway. "Oh, didn't I say? He said something about the landlord, and the lease, and the rent, so I told him to wait and talk to you. Bye."
Maddie gave her retreating back a 500-watt glare. Then she groaned - the rent? Surely they could have waited a day or so. Then she remembered. "Wait, Kelly - you'll have to talk to him - I can't face him again - "
Too late.
So she had to go out there and face him.
Maddie drew her dignity around her, checked that she was fully dressed, and stalked into the family room. She faced the intruder, glaring at him, daring him to say a single WORD about their previous meetings.
For a moment Daniel didn't recognise her with her clothes on, and it was the first time he'd seen her without a layer of green on her face. Without the slime, and the face mask, she was beautiful. It was a pity that lovely bouncy bottom and glorious figure was covered up, but her chestnut hair curled around her shoulders, and those green eyes flashed, and she was perfect.
Well, except for the fact that she was surveying him as if he was a cockroach in her salad, she was perfect.
"The landlord doesn't come here for the rent. I take it to the office. And I haven't missed a payment."
"No, but -"
"And I know it was due today, but I've been busy all day, and I'll have it there first thing tomorrow. And anyway, everyone knows that early the morning after it's due still counts as on time."
"Yes, but -"
"The landlord has never complained before. He has to send notice in writing if there's a problem, he can't just send in a heavy to attack me like this. I don't appreciate being bullied. And I won't allow it!"
"Well, of course not, but -"
"He has no RIGHT to treat me this way!"
"He isn't -"
"And if he's going to treat me like this, he can take care of the things that need fixing around here. There's three taps that leak, and the power point in my bedroom spits at me every time I plug something in, and the stove keeps turning itself off if we don't watch it, and there's a funny smell in the back bedroom - although that might just be my brother - and - and something in the roof keeps making noises in the middle of the night. And I want it all fixed!"
"Well, I'm sure -"
"I'll complain to the board of something or other, there must be a department to protect the rights of tenants. This is unconscionable, to threaten me like this!"
"STOP!"
They both waited a second until a vase on the shelf stopped rattling. She stared at him, shocked. That voice... somehow it stopped her in her tracks. There was a quality in that one word that was so commanding...
Dammit, get a grip on yourself, girl. He's just some thug from the landlord, probably he's raising the rent, or something. Maddie drew a breath to start again.
Daniel got there first. "I came to tell you that my uncle is no longer your landlord. This property is now mine. This was a courtesy visit."
"Oh..."
"I'm sure you'll continue to pay the rent almost on time, just as you have up till now."
"Er, yes..."
"And I'll have the all problems you've mentioned dealt with. If you leave a list at the office tomorrow when you drop off the rent, I'll make sure they're all fixed within a few days."
"Um, I ..."
"Do you have anything more you wish to tell me right now?"
"I'm not... I don't... I didn't..." Maddie glanced at her wrist, "Oh no! I have to get to the restaurant!"
"You and your sister are a real pair of party girls, aren't you! Pity you couldn't find time to drop off the rent - I suppose your busy social schedule didn't allow it."
"My... my what?"
"I'll let you get on with it. Enjoy your big night out."
"But I..."
He stalked out, leaving Maddie to gape at empty air. Party? If she didn't get to the restaurant in fourteen minutes she'd be late for work. She'd have to run all the way to make it on time. And if she didn't work she wouldn't earn enough to pay that rent tomorrow.
Maddie stomped into her room to grab her coat. Dammit, why are the good looking ones always so dense?
Daniel stomped out to his car. Dammit, why are the cute ones always so spoilt?
Maddie leaned on the counter and eased her feet inside her shoes - why did shoes get narrower as the evening went on? The chef looked up. "Those steaks aren't getting any hotter. Table five, and get a move on, sweetie, we're backing up in here."
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