by Geraldine Hillis
I had been married a month. Well-trained as I was in household affairs and the management of servants, I had not found my duties onerous. Nor, despite Mamma's gloomy predictions, had I found the marriage-bed too unpleasant. Edward was gentle and kind, and had been patient with my initial shyness and inexperience. As I said, it was not unpleasant, but neither was it particularly thrilling, merely a duty I fulfilled whenever Edward wished it.
So, life was tolerable enough, if not exciting.
One morning as we sat at breakfast, I made a request. "Edward, I should like to go into town for some errands, if I may?"
He smiled at me indulgently. "And what errands have you in town, Charlotte? More ribbons and furbelows?"
I blushed. "Well yes. And some lace and embroidery silks."
"I see no reason why not," he replied. "You must take the carriage, of course, and your personal maid."
"Oh, but Edward," I said. "I should so like to go alone, to take my time, and ..."
"No, Charlotte." He frowned warningly. "A lady does not go shopping unaccompanied. End of discussion."
So it was with some trepidation that I left the house - alone and on foot - some hours later, after Edward had gone to attend to business matters.
I took much pleasure in my own company as I visited the shops, buying little feminine luxuries which took my fancy. The time passed quickly, and great was my surprise when I left the haberdasher's and came face to face with Edward!
There was a hardness in his expression I had never seen before, but he merely bowed and bade me take his arm. No words were spoken as he handed me into the carriage and took me home.
He led me straight to our bed-chamber and I sat on the dressing stool, waiting - with no great feeling of concern - for what he might say.
"I am disappointed in you, Charlotte." His voice was calm, though anger sparked in his eyes. "You have disobeyed me, and more - you have put yourself at risk. A lady alone is an easy target for thieves and ruffians and worse. What have you to say to me?"
With as contrite a look as I could muster, I glanced up at him. "I'm sorry, Edward. It won't happen again."
He studied me for a moment. "I don't believe you, Charlotte. I see no genuine repentance. Perhaps after you have been punished I shall receive a sincere apology."
I sighed and resigned myself to a tedious day or two confined to my room, which was how Papa had always dealt with my misdemeanours.
Imagine my shock, then, when Edward lifted me from the stool, seated himself and took my wrist, with the clear intention of turning me over his knee! Angrily I jerked myself free of him and retreated across the room. "How dare you, Sir! I will not be treated in such a manner!"
He rose, but did not pursue me. "Madam, you are my wife, and you will submit to my authority." Again that spark of anger.
His look and tone brooked no argument, and my defiance crumbled. Blinking away sudden tears, I stammered, "Edward - I have never - I do not -" and I began to cry.
He did approach me then, and led me to the bed, where we sat together, his arms around me until my tears subsided. When he spoke, his voice was serious. "Charlotte, disobedience will always be punished, and that punishment will always be of a physical nature. As this is your first time, I shall apply a little restraint to help you keep position, though in future you will be expected to accept chastisement with the dignity and humility befitting a lady." He raised my chin and looked into my eyes. "I have no wish to use force, my dear. Please do not make that necessary."
I looked away and drew a long shuddering breath. "I won't, Edward. You will not have to use force."
Taking me by the hand, he drew me over to the dressing stool, where he sat and guided me over his lap. He lifted my skirts a little and placed his right leg across the back of my knees. I tried to relax, and take comfort in the fact that I had four layers of protection - a skirt, two petticoats and my drawers. Surely this would not be too hard to bear.
That small comfort was quickly removed as Edward flipped skirt and petticoats up above my waist and tugged my drawers down to mid-thigh! Gently he took hold of my wrists and pinned them to the small of my back. I was now immobilised, exposed, and humiliated.
As Edward laid his hand on my bare flesh, a nervous shiver rippled through me. But there was something else. That shiver did not stem solely from fear. A curious excitement began to flutter in the pit of my stomach, and a shameless wetness tingled between my legs -
The first smack took the breath from me and drove out all thoughts of pleasure. I had not anticipated such pain. Determined as I had been to accept this quietly, I found myself quite unable to do so. The smarting blows which Edward continued to rain down on my defenceless bottom wrung anguished cries from my lips, which I tried in vain to suppress. I began to plead, but there was no respite from those searing strokes.
But as the burning and hurting grew in my behind and thighs, there came again those strange sensations in my most intimate parts. Pain and pleasure fought for supremacy, and as Edward dealt a last agonizing smack to my tormented cheeks, my mind was a whirl of confused emotions.
He carried me to the bed and laid me down. It was no longer anger which flared in his eyes as he kissed away my tears, and caressed my aching body. Piece by piece he removed my clothing, and for the first time I lay naked to his gaze. I reached for him, loosed his garments. His fingers traced my breasts, my belly. I parted my thighs - oh God, how I needed him!
Shamelessly I urged him atop me, and spread myself wide as he moved between my legs. As he entered me smoothly, I gave an abandoned little cry and moved my hips to meet his thrust.
My body arched towards him, matching his rhythm as he pounded into me again and again. He reached round and grasped my bruised buttocks to pull me ever closer, but the pain as his strong fingers kneaded my flesh took nothing away from the wondrous rapture building within me.
Together we rocked in what seemed an eternity of ecstasy. As we approached our peak, my mind slipped away to another place - a place where there existed only unceasing pleasure and passion. With a low, animal-like groan, Edward pushed deeply into me one final time, and I screamed aloud as I felt his maleness throb and spurt inside me.
He gathered me in his embrace, murmuring endearments, as I buried my head against his chest, mingling my joyful tears with the sweat of his body.
Truly, a new chapter in my life had begun.
Edward stormed into the drawing-room where I sat sewing. I looked up in surprise, for it was seldom he lost his composure even under the most trying circumstances.
"What troubles you?" I asked.
"What troubles me, Charlotte," he replied, throwing himself into a chair, "is that Peters has given notice."
I started, but only said lightly, "I imagine a new butler will not be so hard to come by."
That brought a scowl. "Hardly the point, Madam. Peters has been with this family since before I was born. I cannot imagine this house without him."
I bent my head industriously over my needlework, that Edward might not see my face. "Did he - did he give a reason?"
"No, he did not, simply that he wished to leave my service." He paused. "Do you know anything of this, Charlotte?"
A split-second hesitation, then I looked straight into his eyes and lied to him for the first time. "No, Edward, of course not."
He rose abruptly. "I shall be in my study. I do not wish to be disturbed." With a bow, he retired from the room.
Left alone, I thought about the situation. Of course I knew why Peters was giving notice, and I was only thankful that the entire staff had not followed his lead. It was because of me.
Irritable and out of sorts one day, I had intruded upon the servants' lunch, demanding to know why the drawing-room fire had not been lit as I had ordered. Such was my ill-temper that I had refused to accept the perfectly reasonable explanation given, and had subjected Peters to a display of abominable rudeness in front of the entire staff.
Since then, though all the servants treated me with scrupulous correctness, there had been an unmistakeable undercurrent of dislike and hostility.
But what was I to do now? I pulled the bell-rope and Peters entered a few moments later.
"You rang, Madam?" His face was impassive.
I drew a deep breath. "Yes, Peters. The master tells me you have given notice. I wondered if you might reconsider. He - we - should miss you greatly were you to leave."
He looked at me gravely. "I think not, Madam. My decision is final - and irrevocable. Will there be anything else?"
Had I brought myself to apologise, I believe he might have withdrawn his notice at that moment, and I would have spared myself all the pain and humiliation that was to come.
But that was not my way. Instead I dismissed Peters with a nod, and resumed my sewing.
Things continued in this manner for several days. Edward was moody, and beneath his moods, I sensed a genuine unhappiness. I began to understand that he was grieving over the forthcoming departure of a man he loved like a father.
This state of affairs could not be allowed to continue, and I determined to tell Edward everything. I knew he would be annoyed at my lack of self-control in front of the servants, but I was quite unprepared for the storm of anger which washed over me...
I went to the study. Edward listened without interruption as I told him all that had occurred. Although he spoke calmly, the spark in his his eyes told me he was angry - much more so than I had anticipated.
"Did you apologise?" he asked quietly.
"To Peters?" I almost laughed aloud at such a notion. "Don't be ridiculous, Edward! A lady does not make apology to one not her equal."
He stood up so quickly his chair toppled backwards, and in three strides was towering over me, his fingers gripping my upper arms painfully. "You are right in one thing, Madam," he said through gritted teeth. "Peters is not your equal. In all that matters he is infinitely your superior!"
I stared at him, aghast. "But - he is a servant!"
"He is a human being!" Here he released me so suddenly I almost over-balanced. I stood in stunned silence as he righted his chair and sat once more behind the desk. He continued, more quietly, but no less angrily. "A true lady, Charlotte, admits her faults and apologises, whether it be to a king or a street-sweeper. And furthermore," as I opened my mouth to protest, "unless you wish to receive your correction in front of the assembled staff, I suggest you reconsider your attitude."
I swallowed the haughty retort which had sprung to my lips. Edward clearly meant every word. He reached into a drawer and withdrew a strap, broad and thick, which he laid on the desk before me. Crossing then to the fire-place, he pulled the bell-rope and waited in tense silence until Peters arrived.
Edward explained quietly. "The mistress has told me of her unacceptable behaviour towards you. I do not mean to ask if you wish to withdraw your notice - that we can discuss later. However, I feel it only fair that you should have the opportunity to witness Madam's punishment - if you should desire to do so, of course."
I glanced up, horrified, and met Peters' eyes. For the first time I looked - really looked - at the man. And what I saw stirred in me a deep sense of shame, I saw a man - not a servant - a man. Someone of honour - kind, honest, loyal, hard-working - all the things I was not. My eyes filled with tears. "Please," I whispered. "I deserve nothing less."
His gaze moved from the strap on the desk to my face, and he smiled at me, a gentle smile, tinged with pity for my plight. "No, Madam. I'll not see you shamed." He turned back to Edward. "I'd rather not, sir. Best leave it between you and your lady."
Edward nodded. "Very well. Be good enough to assemble the staff in the servants' hall in half an hour."
Peters bowed and withdrew.
Nervously I waited for Edward to speak, and when he did, his voice was unexpectedly kind. "I think, Charlotte, you have begun to understand."
I bowed my head in acquiescence. He lifted the strap. "Then let us finish the lesson."
Scared as I was, I knew what Edward expected of me, and though I had not behaved like a lady, I was determined to do so now, and accept what I had earned with dignity and humility.
At his command I stretched myself over the desk and lay passively while he bared me. He did not keep me waiting.
I heard the whistle of the strap just a fraction before the first searing lash exploded over my tender skin. In a futile attempt to keep silent, I clenched my teeth. By the fourth fierce cut, however, I abandoned that effort and gave vent to my anguished cries.
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