by Lucy Appleby
He looked up from the newspaper. He recognised that wheedling tone. She wanted something.
"Yes?"
She flashed him a big smile. "Can we have a pig?"
"A what?"
"A pig." She smiled again and came over to perch on his lap. "I really, really want a pig." She nuzzled his neck.
"Well you can't have one."
"But Jim - I haven't even told you about them yet. These aren't just ordinary pigs - they're miniature pigs - really tiny and so cute! You'd love them."
"No I wouldn't. I don't like pigs - except in bacon sandwiches."
"Don't be mean, Jim. It would be good if we could get two - then they'd be company for each other when we're out at work."
"Muriel, there will be no pigs in this house! Imagine it - dirty smelly things pooping all over the place!"
"That's where you are wrong - pigs are very clean animals. They use a litter tray. If we can't have two, I suppose I'd have to settle for just the one."
"I said no and I mean no."
"But I've done all the research. Hear me out Jim, these miniature pigs are the size of a tea cup. And even at two years when fully grown, they are only fourteen inches high - just perfect for the house. Come on Jimmy-poo's, say yes."
"NO," glowered Jim. "And don't call me Jimmy-poo's."
Muriel wasn't the sort to give up without a fight. She fixed dinner - Jim's favourite, and served it with a bottle of claret she'd been saving for a special occasion. She drank very little herself, and sneakily refilled Jim's glass when he wasn't looking.
"That was lovely," said Jim as he put down his knife and fork. "What's for dessert?"
"Something extra special." She straddled his lap. "Me. And I'm not wearing any knickers," she whispered seductively in his ear.
"You decadent wench!" said Jim approvingly. "Let me see for myself." He pulled her into a standing position and flipped up her skirt. Her large round bottom beamed invitingly. "Oh - bare bottom - my favourite." His hand began to itch to spank those delectable curves.
"Mmm," said Muriel, giving her bottom a tantalising little wiggle - I thought maybe we could play spanky games?"
"Yeah? I thought you weren't interested in all that." His eyes gleamed in anticipation.
"I'm sure you can convince me," said Muriel, bending right over and sticking out her arse, giving him a full uncensored view.
"Come here."
She stood before him and pouted coquettishly, and then draped herself over his lap. "I'm just showing my appreciation."
"Eh?"
"My appreciation - because you said I could have a pig."
"I didn't say that!"
"You did!
"I did? No I didn't!"
"Yes you did."
"Did I?" Jim was bemused. "I can't remember saying that."
"Well you did. So in return I'm going to let you spank my bare bottom every week for a whole year. That's the deal."
Jim blinked. He really didn't recall giving in to her demands for a stupid pig - but if she was offering up her arse weekly for a year ... that had to be worth a dozen pigs! "Hmm. How much does one of these pigs cost?"
"Just seven hundred pounds." She wished she'd replenished his glass before she told him that.
"Seven hundred pounds? You're having a laugh!"
"It's a good investment. Anyway - aren't I worth it?"
She distracted him by unzipping her top. Her full breasts came within reach. He reached for them, rolling the engorged nipples between thumb and forefinger.
"You bloody minx," he growled.
"I know," she purred, and shifted position so that her bottom was elevated over his lap. "Do your worst - hand, and belt too if you like."
"Oh I like," he said. "And crop and paddle."
"Oh - well, ok then," she relinquished. After all, one has to make sacrifices for one's porcine chums.
"And cane."
"Cane? Um - I don't fancy the cane much at all."
"No pig then," he said. Two can play at this game.
For the first time in her life, Muriel got a proper spanking. It came as something of a shock. His hand wasn't too bad, but when he spanked progressively harder and faster, she thought she would die. And when she found that was just the warm up, she began to have second thoughts about having a pig. But it was too late. Jim was in the zone.
Having got her bottom nicely pink with his hand, Jim brought out the crop and paddle. The crop was thin and stingy, and Muriel wailed and shrieked as it lashed down on her bottom. She felt as though lines of fire were searing into her flesh. Her shrieks gave way to tortuous howls, which only incensed Jim to spank harder. He loved seeing her wriggle and squirm under his ministrations.
He cracked the leather paddle down hard on her rump. It made a delicious splat as it landed on its meaty target, and was accompanied by another howl from Muriel. Muriel wriggled like a fish over his lap, seeking to evade the volley of blows. She hated that damned paddle. It hurt like hell, and her bottom felt red raw.
"It's a lovely rosy red," said Jim with a satisfied smile. "Beautiful." He delivered four more stinging blows.
"Oweeeee!" screeched Muriel. Using her womanly wiles, she decided it was time to distract him. Her left hand reached round to press against his hard cock which was threatening to burst through his trousers. "Ooh - what's this iron bar? Is it all for me?" She fumbled eagerly with his zip.
Her ploy worked and they had riotous, satisfying sex. Even Muriel had to admit that it was the best sex they had ever had. It seemed spanking Muriel's bottom did something quite startling to Jim's libido.
They slept well that night, and before drifting off to sleep, Muriel had happy thoughts about getting her pig. She decided she was going to call him Horace.
Muriel woke early, her head filled with thoughts of Horace. She would ring the breeders and arrange to go and collect Horace after work, since Jim was now willing to stump up the £700. It was rather a lot of money. She frowned, thinking what else she could buy for £700 - an entire new summer wardrobe, shoes, bags, perfume. Muriel pouted, and then as the idea came to her, she smiled, got out of bed and ran downstairs to use the computer.
In no time at all she had found someone who would sell her a pig for only £30. This was absolutely brilliant, for now she could have a pig and £670 to spend on herself - not that she need mention that to Jim. Muriel phoned the owner and spent a happy ten minutes talking about pigs. She paid over the phone using her plastic card, and the owner said he would bring the pig round later that day. There was just one small problem - the pig was female. Still, that was no big deal. Muriel simply changed the name of her new pet from Horace to Harriet.
She phoned work, claiming she had a migraine and wouldn't be going in to the office. When Jim had left for work, she made herself a shopping list and spent three hours in various trendy boutiques, returning home with six bulging bags of clothes and shoes and other essential girly treats.
At 2pm, a big truck pulled up outside the house, and Muriel dashed out in great excitement to meet Harriet.
"Here you go," said the delivery man. "She's all yours." He opened the back of the truck.
"Oh! What's THAT?" squeaked Muriel.
"That's your pig, Missus. A proper porker ain't she?"
"Oh my God!" wailed Muriel. "It's enormous."
"She sure is, and will get bigger still. They grow to quite a size do these pot-bellied pigs."
"I thought you meant that you had a micro pig for sale and that it had got a bit of a pot belly. I didn't know you meant you were selling me a pot-bellied pig. What the heck am I going to do with it?"
"You should have thought of that before," glared the man. "You told me you would provide a good home for this 'ere pig. She's very intelligent you know - she can do tricks."
"Oh yes, I'm sure, but ..."
The man's mobile rang. "Look, I'm going to have to go - got an emergency. I'll check back with you later and see how she's settling in." He handed a leash to Muriel and a bag of pig food. "She's fond of fresh vegetables, and you can give her apples and raisins for treats. Got to go." He slapped the porker on the rump then drove off in his truck.
Muriel stared at the pig. The pig stared at Muriel.
"Hello," said Muriel uncertainly.
The pig grunted, and Muriel jumped in alarm. Hell's bells, look at the size of the thing. What the hell was she going to tell Jim? But there was no time to think, for Harriet headed for the open front door and dragged Muriel after her.
"Wait, piggy. Nice piggy. Your name's Harriet now, do you hear? Harriet. I hope you're going to behave yourself."
Harriet snorted joyfully and sniffed her way into the kitchen, nibbling on any scraps of food that had fallen on the floor. She looked round expectantly, and then fixed her little piggy eyes on Muriel.
"Are you hungry? Just a minute."
Muriel poured some of the commercial feed into a big plastic dish, and put it on the floor next to a bowl of water. Harriet squealed in delight and demolished the food in thirty seconds flat, and then looked at Muriel.
"More? You want more already? Hmm, what did the man say? Vegetables?" She opened the fridge and took out half a cucumber and a few sticks of celery and a couple of carrots. "Want some of these Harriet?"
Harriet did. She ate voraciously. Muriel watched in amazement as Harriet finished all the food and then belched loudly.
"Now you stay there like a good pig, while I go and read up on pot-bellied pigs. Have a nap or something till I get back."
Harriet yawned and went to lay under the kitchen table. She closed her eyes and snorted, happy in her nice new home. Muriel closed the kitchen door and went to research pigs on the internet. As soon as the door closed, Harriet's ears pricked up, and she came out from under the table and went to the fridge. She knew all about fridges and prided herself on being able to open them.
This fridge was wonderful! It was dead easy to open and the nice Muriel had filled it full of things to eat. Harriet helped herself, and ate a bag of salad (including the bag), some potatoes and peppers and half a cauliflower. When she found some green apples she sighed in ecstasy. It was going to be great living here. Just great.
Oink.
Muriel turned pale as she learned that Vietnamese pot-bellied pigs can weigh as much as 250 pounds and not be overweight. "Heavens, that's an awful lot of pig," she muttered to herself, and then looked up guiltily as the door opened and in walked Jim. "Oh - you're home early, Jim," she smiled, trying to hide her agitation.
"Yeah. Hiya. I finished early today. What about you?"
"I, um, took a day off."
"Oh? Everything ok?"
"Erm .. yes. Everything's fine," she said, without conviction.
Jim gave her one of his penetrating looks. "Is there something you're not telling me?"
"No. Well, I mean ... we have the pig."
"Already? Where is the little thing hiding? In your pocket?"
"She's in the kitchen, having a nap."
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