by James Simpson
It was the mid-sixties, and on a Wednesday afternoon in October a few chance happenings occurred, setting into train an unforgettable series of events.
In the previous summer holidays, the science block at Ashfield Ladies Grammar had burnt down due to an electrical fault.
This was a disaster for the school, but for the financially stretched Ambrosia County Council who had been considering rationalising the secondary schools, each very generously endowed with land, it was a not to be missed opportunity. The short-term solution was to make Ashfield Ladies and the Lord Devenish boy's GS (founded 1651) a co-educational grammar. The two head-teachers remained at their schools, but the other staff were redrafted to ensure a mix of male and female teachers. There was enough room to accommodate the first three forms in the main block of the girls school, and use the boys school for the O and A level streams, which would release a lot of land to sell to developers.
This was greeted with delight by the pupils and also the bean-counters at County Hall but initially with horror by both sets of governors, particularly those of the old established and extremely traditional boys' grammar. The horror was shared by most of the older masters and mistresses who viewed teaching mixed classes with massive apprehension and in some cases downright disgust. However two senior members of staff who very privately approved were Jane Somerton and Richard Manners, the acting joint deputy-heads at the mixed upper grammar. They had previously been heads of the two sixth forms and had both benefited by the previous extremely conservative incumbents taking slightly early retirement in disgust at the new arrangements. The head teachers had been made aware the new arrangements were to their considerable advantage by the award of a substantial salary increase and a generous bonus when the land was sold. Similarly the governors were awarded positions on various committees of the great and good, which allowed them to draw generous expenses. The matter was therefore a fait-accompli, in the traditional manner of British politics.
Amongst the pupils were four upper-sixth formers Jessica Richards, Carol Ashton, Jimmy Anderson and Matt Johnson. They all lived in the outlying village of Littlehurst and had grown up together. Amazingly they were all born within a couple of weeks of each other in September and early October and each claimed to be their parents' best ever post-war Christmas presents. They had all just reached eighteen and felt far too mature for the disciplinary strictures of an old-fashioned grammar school, and considered themselves as highly superior to the younger students.
Every Wednesday after games they missed their usual 4.15 bus home and as a result went into town to kill time before catching the 5.35 home. Since entering the upper sixth with no uniform rules they often went to the trendy coffee bar called The Pomme d'Or, where like many of their age they drank coffee, chatted and flirted, played pinball and table football, and listened to the jukebox, whiling away the time until the bus left.
That fateful November day however Carol had been flirting with Andy Hayes the local 'Jack the lad', and supplier of dubious substances. She persuaded him to roll them a spliff to try out and share. Hopeful of a 'quicky' round the back, much to her surprise he had agreed and spliced it very generously with resin. The four inhaled deeply in turn and soon felt really high, floating with the psychedelic music playing on the coffee juke box, and only just remembered to catch their bus.
Coincidentally that evening, joint deputy head Mrs Jane Somerton who also lived in Littlehurst had to catch the late bus home. After leaving school in great anticipation and excitement she had taken her old car in to the garage prior to collecting a shiny brand new one. Unfortunately, due to an unexpected delay she had been unable to take delivery that evening and was furious. Her annoyance was further increased when the garage said that her old car was booked in for scratch repair early the following morning. Rather than wait around for them to ready a courtesy car or a lift, she elected to bus home.
Consequently, in a very bad mood, she had caught the late bus at the terminus and was already in a seat upstairs at the back when the four friends clambered up the stairs and dashed to the front seat sitting four abreast on the top deck. They soon started giggling, shouting and generally fooling around as the effect of the dope had released their inhibitions. They were extremely noisy, made several unflattering comments about staff members which could be clearly heard all over the top deck, and at one stage Jessica found herself sprawled, giggling uncontrollably over the boys' laps while being playfully spanked. They then told the conductress to get lost when she told them to behave. The conductress told them she would report them to the headmaster and would have them banned if they ever misbehaved again. Fortunately before matters could get worse Mrs Somerton stepped in and took control, telling them she would see them in her room at 8.15 tomorrow morning, before registration and assembly. As they passed her she smelt their breath and instead of the alcohol which she was expecting, she smelt a strong aromatic herbal smoky smell lingering in the girls' hair.
To her horror she then realised they had been smoking 'pot', not as she had at first assumed, drinking alcohol. She realised she now had to deal with an even more serious problem and one which the headmaster would have no compunction in expelling the pupils for. Jane was horrified at that possibility. Living in the same village she was friendly with their parents and knew they were good kids and their futures could be ruined - they were all sure to get into good universities and probably enjoy successful careers. She had a lot to think about that night, particularly since the head master and head mistress were both away for a couple of days at a meeting to decide the long term future of the schools. She was therefore responsible for the girls' punishment. Similarly Richard was responsible for the boys. She had a long telephone conversation that evening with Richard, and they concluded that if possible it should be settled in the head's absence. Richard rather wimpishly suggested that he was perfectly content to abide by her decision. After mulling everything over in her mind Jane reached the conclusion that the problem could best be dealt with by a quick and efficient, severe caning. However, the problem was that as they were sixth formers, the miscreants would have to give their informed consent to such a punishment. She was hopeful that she could persuade them that it would be by far the best course of action rather than risk expulsion.
The four sixth-formers had themselves realised that if drugs were suspected they would probably be expelled, so they resolved to say that alcohol had been slipped in their coffees without their knowledge. Carol and Jess had discussed their predicament at length that night, and next morning on the bus in to school they astonished the boys by saying that it was a pity they weren't younger as it would be simply dealt with by a sound caning. A tacit agreement was reached that if they were offered a caning they would accept it with alacrity, just to get it over and done with. A little later that Thursday morning at 8.30 prompt, the four friends knocked on the Deputy Head's study door and sheepishly entered the room and stood in line in front of her desk.
"It's a fine mess you've got us all into here. I have never before witnessed such stupid, rude and immature behaviour from young adults of your age and education. I trust you are thoroughly ashamed of yourselves," Jane said severely.
They stood shuffling uncomfortably, heads bowed, and after a few minutes Jess said, "We are very ashamed of ourselves. We accept we were stupid and our rudeness to the conductress was unpardonable. In our defence we think that one of the boys in 'The Pomme' slipped some vodka into our coffees for a joke, and made us drunk."
Jimmy spoke next. "Of course we intend to see the conductress tonight and apologise, and we shall accept any punishment you may consider necessary, however painful."
Jane realised he was suggesting that they considered corporal punishment was appropriate. "If you were younger I would have no compunction in caning you, but as you are now in the upper- sixth I shall presumably have to suspend you," she replied.
"Please not suspension Ma'am," said Carol. "Can't you just cane us instead, and get it over and done with? Also you know how hard it is for a girl to get into medical school and any bad reports will scupper even the slight chance I have of succeeding."
"I had never even considered corporal punishment," Jane fibbed. "I will give it some thought and discuss it with Mr Manners. Come and see me at the beginning of lunch when I shall give you my decision."
The four left, and when in the corridor whispered amongst themselves.
"That was very clever Jimmy. Did you see the look of surprise and the smile on her face when you said 'however painful'," Carol said. "I really think she will cane us and get it over and done with."
"I hope so, as long as Old Harry (the nickname of the headmaster - Dr Edward Harrison MA) doesn't get involved. He'll go absolutely berserk, at the very least it'll be the thrashing of a lifetime, more probably expulsion or a long suspension," Jimmy replied. "It won't be long now. By the way, have either of you girls been caned before?"
"Once, three strokes, and that stung like crazy," said Carol.
"Twice, three and six, and the last left marks for a week," said Jess. "I'm dreading it."
"Well just hope and pray that it's Mrs Somerton or Mr Manners who canes us. If 'Old Harry' gives it to you, you can barely walk afterwards," said Matt grimacing at the memory.
"Do you think she'll cane us then?" asked Jess.
"I'm pretty sure we'll get it offered, after the look on her face," said Carol. "But we'll find out soon enough."
Lunchtime arrived and once again the four assembled in front of Jane Somerton's desk. They were pleased to see she appeared much more relaxed this time.
"Well I have spoken to Mr Manners, and fortunately for you he agrees that if you consent, a caning will be appropriate. Although he would normally cane the boys himself, he has a bad attack of tennis elbow and has asked me to do the honours. I have agreed but if you boys object I shall refer you to Mr Harrison when he returns. It will be six strokes for fooling around under the influence, and six for insulting behaviour. If you wish to proceed I shall require these letters of consent to be signed by you as you are now all over eighteen. If you disagree I shall give the headmaster a written report on Monday morning. And strictly between us, I do know the difference between the smell of herbal smoke and alcoholic drink. If you agree, I intend to give you four strokes now and the remaining eight at 4.15 tomorrow. What do you say?"
They shuffled and mumbled amongst themselves and sheepishly agreed and signed the consent forms and the punishment book on the desk.
"Very well," Jane said, as she put the punishment book away and opened a cupboard with several canes visible. "Take off your jackets, and loosen your ties, I intend to cane you all on the bare, don't waste my time. Now James, you can go first. Please drop your trousers and pants down and bend over my desk."
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