by Frank Limadere
It was early on Saturday afternoon and the Phi Gamma Beta sorority house was a hive of activity. Saturday was often a day of rest for the girls in the sorority, a day they took to go out with friends, participate in non academic activities, catch up on study or just hang out at the house. But this was a special day; tonight the girls would host their male counterparts, the members of the Phi Sigma Tau fraternity, in the annual mixer. Last year the boys had held the event in their house and done an outstanding job, so the girls felt honour bound to try and top it. The Phi Gamma Beta girls, or PGB as they were often known, were no strangers to holding parties. They had hosted morning teas for members of the faculty, a lunch for the mothers of current sisters, afternoon teas for some of the charities supported by the sorority and a dinner for former sisters. This night was different, tonight was a real college mixer, where the girls could mix with boys their own ages and with some of the same interests. It was to be an alcohol-free party and would also be strictly chaperoned by Phi Gamma Beta's strict housemother Stevie and Phi Sigma Tau's equally stern housemaster, Howard. Both girls and boys had had the riot act read to them before their regular Friday night paddlings, and been told that any infraction of the fraternity or sorority rules and those of the college would result in immediate expulsion from the event, and punishment to follow.
The hub of the sorority house was the large country-style kitchen. A number of the girls were in the kitchen preparing snacks and drinks for the party that evening. Overseeing proceedings was a pretty red-haired sophomore by the name of Heather. Heather was majoring in nutrition, she actually enjoyed cooking and was the house's self appointed 'Mistress of the Kitchen'. For these reasons the sophomore had been put in charge of preparing the refreshments. Heather had delegated most of the work and it was the other girls who were doing it while the redhead gave orders. Capturing most attention at the time was the preparation of the punch. A giggling blonde first year by the name of Sally, bounced into the kitchen and made her way to the bench where a large punchbowl was being filled.
Sally held up a bottle filled with clear liquid and asked loudly, "Will this do?"
"Stoli!" Carole, a creamy complexioned, dark-haired junior gasped as she saw the distinctive, white, gold and red label of the expensive vodka. "Where did you get Stoli?"
Sally laid one finger alongside her nose, winked and said solemnly, "I have my ways, Betty. I have my ways."
Carole had to laugh at Sally's unique patois. In 'Sallyspeak' all girls were 'Betty' and all boys were 'Barry'.
"So does it go in, Heather?" Sally asked, uncapping bottle.
"Yes!" Heather snapped, her green eyes flashing. "For God's sake put the bottle down! You don't want Stevie or the big sisters finding out about the 'special' punch."
"Yeah," a broad shouldered blonde sophomore called Johanna agreed, "if they do, the only thing being served at the mixer will be fricasseed rump."
"Okay," Sally said abashed, and discreetly poured the vodka into the mixture, she had just finished when fellow first year Jessica rushed into the kitchen bearing a bottle of Gilbey's gin. Heather did not need to be asked, just said, "Put it in, Jessica."
After the bowl was filled, brunette medicine major, Shania, walked past, stuck a finger into the liquid and licked it. "Oh wow!" the girl said, her eyes going wide. "That stuff is rocket fuel."
Johanna wrinkled her nose "The fumes are making my eyes water. There's no way this is going to get past Stevie."
Heather shook her head at the worried faces and furrowed brows of her fellow Phi Gamma Beta sisters. "Trust in Aunty Heather, girls. I've got to dilute it with other ingredients and then it won't all be in the one bowl. Once we've done that and put it in separate bowls it'll be strong enough to give everyone a decent buzz, but not so obvious that we'll get busted."
"You better be right," Carole said ominously, "because if I get blistered over this I have a paddle with your name on it, Heather."
Shauna, leading cheerleader and one of the sorority's 'big sisters', shook out her mane of curly blonde hair and worried her lower lip with perfect white teeth as she stared at the photographs on the wall. "Put them higher, Naomi," she ordered her fellow big sister.
The tall brunette looked around and said in exasperated tones, "Shauna, the only reason you're getting me to do this is because of my height."
"Yes, and because Heather had already snapped up Johanna," the cheerleader clarified.
"Sweetie, I don't know if this has occurred to you, but not everyone is as tall as me."
"I do know that, Naomi."
"If I put the pictures where you want them then only Johanna and I can reach them and even some of the Phi Sigs are going to stretch."
"Oh right," Shauna said as it dawned on her. "Lower then."
Naomi shook her head and pinned the photographs where she had originally placed them.
"I don't get it though, Shauna. Why do you have pictures of our pledges and the Phi Sig pledges taken from behind. What sort of game is this?"
"Ever play pin the tail on the donkey?" Shauna asked.
"Of course, when I was about six years old."
"This is my variation," Shauna beamed. "It's called pin the paddle on the pledge. We'll blindfold the participants, spin them around to get them good and dizzy and then give them a paper paddle which they have to try and pin on the backside of one of the pledges. We'll have all eight pledges bent over in the perfect paddle position. If the contestant can attach the paddle to a bottom then they get to give the pledge a swat, if not they have to accept a swat from the pledge of my selection. Girls paddle boys and boys paddle girls."
Naomi laughed. "Shauna, babe, that is the craziest game I have ever heard of! It sounds like loads of fun, though. We made the right decision when we appointed you games mistress."
"It's going to be great!" the blonde enthused. "I have a Twister tournament planned and a limbo competition. This is going to be the funnest mixer of all time."
It seemed like an almost interminable time, but eventually eight o'clock arrived and there was a knock at the door. Stevie went to answer it, her girls trailing in an excited, giggling, whispering group behind her. The tall, elegant black housemother opened the door and saw a smiling Howard, the housemaster of Phi Sigma Tau standing in front of it. Behind him were arrayed a large group of well groomed, grinning young men.
"Boys," Stevie greeted the fraternity, "welcome to Phi Gamma Beta's mixer. Please come in and enjoy the soiree my girls have planned."
Most of the girls lined up as the boys entered. Once the last one had gone through the door and it was closed behind him, one of the sorority's juniors, Georgette, hit the play button on a CD player and the strains of Pink's 'Let's Get The Party Started' hit the air. Immediately the ice had been broken and all the guests began to dance and mingle. Howard and Stevie, exchanged looks and Howard shrugged. Stevie exclaimed "Kids!" and both of them dissolved into laughter.
The party progressed beautifully and after about half an hour Stevie and Howard could see that the big sisters and brothers had things well in hand and that their presence was virtually extraneous. "The boys are behaving themselves," Stevie shouted at Howard to be heard over the music.
"Oh yes," the housemaster agreed, "they were warned what would happen if they weren't on best behaviour."
"So were the girls."
The man snorted. "I rather think the boys have more to fear on that score, Stevie."
"What do you mean?" the housemother asked, her eyes narrowing dangerously.
"Oh c'mon, Stevie!" Howard scoffed. "The boys don't want a paddling from me."
"The girls don't exactly volunteer to receive my paddle either," Stevie retorted.
"Stevie, I'm 6'3" and I used to play football. No disrespect, but I think the boys would rather bend over for a taste of your paddle than mine."
"Have you asked Colin, Matt, Gordon and Pat that question?" Stevie asked hotly, recalling the time that the four Phi Sigma Tau first years had stayed in the house for a week and found themselves on the business end of Stevie's paddle.
"You put them through their paces I know, but we're men, we naturally hit harder."
"If you think I'm that easy on the girls would you like to put your money where your mouth is tough guy?"
"What are you suggesting?" Howard asked, this was beginning to sound interesting.
"I'll give you a paddling and if I can get you to cry then you pay for dinner at Chez When."
Howard winced as the housemother mentioned the name of the nearby town's most expensive and exclusive restaurant, with it's eclectic mix of French and Asian cuisine. "So what happens if I don't?" he probed confidently.
"You get to return the paddling I gave you and I'll buy dinner."
"Sounds fair," Howard agreed. "Where and when?"
"No time like the present."
"What about the party?" Howard hedged.
"We won't be missed. We'll be gone for thirty minutes at most. Naomi, Veronica, Shauna, Denise, Scott, Kyle, Ben and Jim have this all in hand."
Howard looked at the seniors who were considered second in command to he and Stevie and had to agree that they were doing a very good job chaperoning the event. "What about location?"
Stevie's smooth ebony brow furrowed. "That's more problematic. I usually give the paddlings in my study, but there's too much chance of being inadvertently discovered there. I don't think it would be appropriate to use the deserted Phi Sigma house..." her voice trailed off and then her dark eyes lit up with inspiration. "The woodshed!"
"The woodshed?" Howard asked.
"We have one. It's clean and has an electric light, it's far enough away from the main house that it's unlikely that we'll be seen or heard. It's perfect," Stevie chuckled. "And being a genuine woodshed it seems somehow fitting, young man."
Howard blushed.
"Cover for me while I go get my paddle."
Howard did not have long to wait. Stevie was quick about it and she soon returned carrying a large drawstring bag. Howard cast a suspicious glance at it. "I had to hide it somehow," Stevie explained. "It would be interesting to explain why I was carrying my paddle around with me."
Howard nodded in agreement.
"Shall we go?"
Howard looked around the party and could see that the older members of his fraternity and Stevie's sorority had everything well in hand. The rest of the kids were too wrapped up in dancing, talking or preparing for the games to even notice that they were missing. Although Howard did not really think Stevie's paddle could genuinely hurt him, he still found himself suddenly nervous about what was going to happen. He took a deep breath, linked his arm through Stevie's and replied, "Yes, we shall."
Stevie chuckled throatily and led Howard outside.
It was a cool, but clear night, as they stepped out they could see the blazing lights in the sorority house and hear the music and hum of conversation. Although the lights were on in the house and the outside lights had also been left on, the woodshed was at the back of the sorority house and this area was not lit. Howard had to be guided by Stevie. They came to the shed itself, Stevie pushed the door open and stepped inside. Howard looked back towards the house. It was close enough that the lights could still be seen, but far enough away that no noise could be heard. Stevie had chosen well. There was a click as Stevie reached up and pulled the string that turned on the single bulb that lit the shed up.
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