by Pat Jones
Over the centuries Punishment Horse #4 had acquired countless nicknames, including Punishment's Pony, The Miscreant's Mount, The Stallion of Swish, The Colt of Correction, and The Strumpet's Steed.
I had never seen it, of course: to the best of my knowledge no academic - and certainly no female academic! - had ever studied it. The English reformatory system was a closed book. Some records were there, if you dug for them, mostly in old diaries and a few first person accounts. However the reformatory system itself was sealed as tightly as a crypt, with access granted only to old money and close friends and family of the people who ran the system.
I was bright, connected, and a well-credentialed college professor, but some would say I wasn't amongst the right sort of people.
So although I had read about it for years, much to my frustration I had never seen Punishment Horse Number Four, the oldest and most infamous of all of the punishment horses in the English reformatory system. When I talked to my Department Chair about it he said, "And you never will," with a wink.
It was centuries old - no one knows the exact date - but rumor was that it had been correcting female bottoms since before the time that King Arthur first forced Lady Guinevere to mount it so he could thrash her bottom before the assembled Knights of the Round Table. The first reference to Number Four in the source material is a log entry recording the "sound thrashing - 2 dozen strokes, on the bare" given to a young woman in 1304 for harlotry. Even in 1304 the girls always got it on the bare.
Number Four appeared again in one of the first surviving reformatory inventories in 1425. The style of the original, wrought iron braces which bolt the legs to the structure suggest a much earlier construction, although the high quality of the polished brass hooks used to hold the leather restraining straps suggest they were probably added later. Of course without a proper examination it was impossible to date it precisely.
Most of Number Four's colorful nicknames were awarded by the delinquents themselves, probably to lessen their own terror by joking about something that had absolute power of them. It was a tradition as old as crime itself. Nooses are 'neckties' while the electric chair is 'Old Sparky'. The girl's playful nicknames for Number Four went on and on: The Delinquent's Donkey; the Nag's Nag; the Slut's Saddle; and The Harlot's Hump.
The last two names were of particular interest to me, in an academic sense, of course. Legend has it that Merlin himself treated the seat of the horse with a magical aphrodisiac designed to lessen the Queen's pain by increasing her pleasure. While the Merlin story was most probably apocryphal, the stories of delinquents pleasuring themselves by 'riding' Number Four were simply too numerous to discount completely.
The official position of the reformatory masters was that there was no sorcery to Number Four, and the girls rubbed themselves to orgasm because the girls on Number Four were, by definition, juicy, delinquent sluts in need of the whip. The truism seemed incontrovertible, since - according to the gentleman who ran England - proper ladies were never placed in a reformatory, and girls who rubbed themselves to climax while their naked bottoms were being whipped were, by definition, salacious strumpets in need of the whip!
Knowing the fallacy of letting premise prove itself, I wondered if there was more. A scientific investigation was required, but alas, since access to the horse was strictly limited, impossible to conduct.
My research wasn't official, of course. I'm a 29-year-old lawyer and Stanford history professor, after all, and lurid tales of girls masturbating themselves on punishment horses as their reformatory masters strapped their naked bottoms wasn't the sort of thing one publishes. Nonetheless my research interest was genuine and so traveling discretely I scoured the records and read diaries, gathering up information where I could, a forgotten diary here, an inventory there.
I had written to Lord Wrath, High Justice of the reformatory system, numerous times but it wasn't until I sent him my first completed paper that he responded to me in anyway whatsoever.
Court records from the 1874-1875 docket show that a girl appearing in Reformatory Court had a 103% chance of being sentenced to a stay in the reformatory, with the excess 3% reflecting the odds that a sister or mother or female friend who offered herself as a witness might herself be sentenced to the reformatory along with the accused. Court records show that the witnesses had an 87% chance of being given more severe sentences and longer thrashings than the accused, which most likely reflected the court's "impatience with foolish interruptions" and their desire to discourage "pointless legal wrangling in clear-cut cases." (Justice Thratch, 1874)
Lord Wrath's response was cool and formal at first; he seemed greatly concerned that my work might become sensationalized by the media if published.
I immediately wrote back and told him I strongly concurred, and had no intention of publishing. The reformatory system is an important part of England's history and is worthy of a serious academic study. Rest assured my only desire is to share carefully compiled research with his Lordship and our like-minded friends, specifically the judges and skilled disciplinarians running the reformatory system itself."
Skeptical at first, his Lordship did not honor me with a reply. In response I simply kept sending him my research papers.
It is a core principal of the reformatory system that female delinquents should always be spanked on their bare bottoms. As early as Reform V. Taylor (1621) Justice Barton cites a practical reason: "When a large number of strokes is given, the chastiser must be able to see the miscreant's entire bottom, so as to judge where to best place the cross strokes."
In Reform V. Cole (1874) Justice Trowel cites another reason: "It is far too difficult to whip a girl between her bottom cheeks, or across the sensitive portion of her bottom where the thighs meet the buttocks, with obstructive garments in place. Thus if a truly worthy example is to be made, the girl's bottom must always be entirely naked."
Crowd size or number of spectators have deemed to be irrelevant in considering whether or not a girl's bottom should be laid bare. In Reform V. Newton Justice (1741) Scourgeman writes, "As humiliation is part-and-parcel of the punishment, the larger the crowd the better. Ideally the venue should be large enough to accommodate any person who may have taken a dislike to the girl, or simply wishes to see her thrashed for their own entertainment or moral edification, and may enjoy an excellent view. Justice must be seen to be done."
After submitting nearly a dozen articles to his Lordship's attention I finally received a brief reply.
Jenny,
I have circulated your most amusing articles to several of my friends. Although they are poorly written and lack the polish one would demand of a qualified male academic, they all said they found your articles quite stimulating. You have my permission to continue.
Needless to say I was thrilled. I had earned their attention if not their respect, which was not an easy thing for a young woman to do.
As our correspondence grew more frequent I soon realized that although separated by 30 years and an ocean we both shared a passion for the history of the English reformatory system, I as a legal scholar at Stanford and he as the Head Reformatory Judge in London. We always corresponded by handwritten letter - Lord Wrath did not use infernal contraptions for writing. Furthermore, after several arch comments from his Lordship about my scribbling, my penmanship steadily improved.
My first break came when I was in England for a conference on international criminal law. I was leaning over an old manuscript in the Rare Books Room at the British Museum when I heard an extremely posh, upper British RP accent behind me.
"I'm glad to see you're as lovely from behind as your improved penmanship."
It was a rude and forward remark, particularly since as I turned I noticed the old codger who made it was staring directly at my backside. When I turned I saw the old lecher was smiling, and had a twinkle in his eye, ogling me as if he had every right to do so.
"Excuse me?" I said, in a tone that made it clear that I was not the one who needed to be excused.
"You have a lovely posterior, Professor, and the rest of you is quite fetching as well. Allow me to introduce myself. My name is Lord Henry Wrath, and I am your English correspondent."
Even after he said it, the news took a moment to register. I had seen his picture online, but he had a curious quality about him, so that even in person he appeared to be a historical figure out of the 19th century. He was quite tall, with a thin, severe face and dark eyes that seemed to always be glaring at you even when he was smiling. I could scarcely believe he was real. Even standing before him he seemed to be a trick-of-the-eye, like one of those portraits of a buckle-hatted puritan where the eyes seemed to always be following you.
"Lord Wr-Wrath!" I stammered, startled to be in the presence of the man I had been attempting to make an appointment with for years. "What an honor to finally meet you, Sir," I gushed, extending my hand.
"I'm sorry, as an officer of the reformatory I'm not in the habit of shaking hands with young women. Nonetheless it is most pleasant to see you in person as you are quite easy on the eyes. Not that I approve of female barristers or solicitors, and certainly not female professors. Simply wasn't done that way in my day, you understand. Not that it hurts to have a bit of eye candy in the court, but I like it best when the girl's in the dock!"
I simply stared at him, stunned. In our correspondence he made the occasional sexist remark, but here, alone in the stacks, the grinning old fool was spewing out sexist drivel while looking me up and down like I was a bikini model. I simply stared at him, mouth agape.
"You have a lovely figure," he continued. "Pity you don't dress more to advantage. Show a bit of skin, some cleavage, or a flash of thigh. Rouge up those pretty lips of yours. You have a very pretty mouth."
His compliment about my pretty mouth was delivered with a leer and a disgusting lick of his dry old lips that made me most uncomfortable. As if I wasn't repulsed enough he continued.
"Perhaps after your thrashing you can drop to your knees and use that pretty little mouth of yours to properly thank me. I'm a bit older now so it might take a while but I'm sure I'll be able to give your mouth a good wash. Come now! Don't look shocked. You have written about such things in your papers. It is only right that a miscreant thank the man who has taken the time to correct her. And what else would a doltish little hoyden like you have to offer a fine gentleman like me?"
The thought of taking the withered old man's tool in my mouth nearly made me retch. My discomfort increased when I suddenly realized we were basically locked in a rare book room together and he was standing in front of the only door. Under ordinary circumstances I would have made my escape, or at least gotten the keys out of my purse to use as a weapon.
Not to be reposted, reproduced or distributed, in part or whole.