by Rick Marlowe
Heidi came into the office as low woman on the totem pole, but she was determined not to stay there for long. She was used to getting pretty much everything she wanted. An only child, she had been coddled all her life. In high school, she was voted a cheerleader and homecoming attendant, and dated the quarterback on the football team. Not stupid, she had no patience for four years of college. She was determined to get out into the world right away to land a husband who would keep her in the style to which she planned to become accustomed. A year in secretarial school seemed just the ticket. She already had good keyboard skills before attending, and with her brains and looks she figured she could easily get a job around highly-paid men. And then it was only a matter of time. It hadn't taken her long to realize that even her former quarterback boyfriend soon became just another poor college student with an uncertain future once he graduated from high school. Heidi figured she should settle for nothing less than a sure thing.
With her secretarial diploma in hand, she bided her time in jobs through a temp agency, eschewing offers for dead-end jobs for a bunch of people she considered losers. When the position with the law firm of Kriegman & Maguire came along, she snapped it right up, even though the salary was a bit less than others she had turned down. Successful attorneys made real money.
Still living at home to save expenses, Heidi invested her meager earnings in 'dressing for success'. She carefully mimicked the wardrobes of the higher-level secretaries, paralegals and young female attorneys, making sure her skirts were always a bit shorter, her blouses buttoned one button lower, her make-up a little bolder, and her long hair a little free-er, just so that she would be noticed.
That was a cinch with the young, single male attorneys who soon began hovering. They were not her quarry, however, and she used her good-natured rebuffs to their advances to demonstrate to whoever might be watching that she was a dedicated worker and not a social butterfly.
Her radar always on, Heidi quickly learned just what she wanted to know. Tom Maguire had recently gone through a divorce, and therefore must be available. Although Heidi was certain there must have been an 'other woman' involved, that was no concern of hers. She fully expected to win any competition she entered. The partner Mr. Maguire became her target.
Although she dressed like she was a paralegal or personal secretary to one of the partners, the fact was that Heidi was still just the low-level clerk-typist she had been hired to be. As such, she was relegated to clerical-pool duties for the newer associates and to low-level assignments doled out through the secretaries of the partners. Gaining access to Tom Maguire was her first hurdle. His personal secretary, a severe middle-aged woman by the name of Margaret, carefully guarded both his time and his office environs. When a co-worker complained about the poor lighting above her desk, Heidi quickly volunteered to switch work-stations. Not only did she demonstrate how she was a team-player, but managed to locate herself strategically just twenty feet from Mr. Maguire's office door, in a position where she'd be the first person he'd see whenever he emerged.
Heidi would diligently bang out her assignments through the clerical pool, then volunteer to help Margaret with anything that had piled up on her desk. The older woman eyed her suspiciously at first, but gradually took advantage of the assistance proffered by the eager young girl. She seemed particularly happy to be relieved of the jobs of running down the hall to make copies or fetch coffee. By serving that coffee, Heidi first found herself admitted to Mr. Maguire's office.
Running in and out to serve coffee to the boss and his guests, Heidi was careful always to make eye contact and smile, but to do no other flirting. It was too soon. He first had to realize that she was a person of substance, and not a shallow young chippie. She was happy to place her initials at the bottom of the first substantial letter she typed for him once when Margaret was tied up on another project. Soon Margaret was often coming to Heidi directly when she needed something done, rather than going through the pool supervisor. This often made Heidi do a little juggling act to keep everybody happy, but she didn't mind one bit.
Gradually, Bob Maguire began occasionally to exchange pleasantries with the helpful young lass. It seldom was more than a brief conversation, but Heidi managed to slip in a few words about her career aspirations and her skills. He seemed impressed that she actually could take steno, something virtually none of the younger secretaries learned.
Meanwhile, the office gossip caught Heidi up on some snippets that she considered most valuable. Yes, there had been another woman who had figured in the break-up of Bob Maguire's marriage, but the two of them were now apparently history as well. Things were falling into place. Heidi re-doubled her efforts pursuing her prize.
It was the stenography that earned Heidi her next major breakthrough. Margaret was taking off three weeks for some minor surgery. Bob Maguire personally requested that Heidi serve as her fill-in replacement. He explained that regretfully, there would be no increase in salary, even though the work would be tougher, but offered that there might be at least some financial reward in the end-of-the year bonus in just a few months. This didn't bother Heidi, since money was not her objective anyhow. There was some grumbling among the clerical staff about this opportunity being offered to so new an employee, but no-one could deny that she was a go-getter. And then too, there was her steno skill. Everyone knew that Mr. Maguire loved giving dictation.
Having now been noticed, Heidi started buttoning her blouses up one button higher, wearing some longer skirts, and toning down her make-up. Her hair, though she continued to let flow.
The first day on her new assignment went smoothly. On day two, though, Mr. Maguire asked her to make several copies of a large document he wanted to distribute in a meeting that afternoon. He said there was no rush - just have them done by three, because he would be away most of the day anyway. Eager to show her efficiency, though, Heidi hurried to produce them just so she could present them before Mr. Maguire left the building. It was a good thing she did, even though it caused her some significant embarrassment.
"Heidi," he asked, just as she turned smugly away after handing the copies to him, "the original was two-sided. You've only copied the odd-numbered pages."
For the first time on the job, Heidi got all flustered. In trying to take the papers back from her boss, she turned all thumbs and dumped them on the floor at his feet. Hastily she stooped down to pick them up. "I'm sorry, I'm so sorry," was all she could say.
"Heidi, Heidi, Heidi - what am I going to do with you?"
What an impression she was making now! Her mind clawed for something to say - something witty, something to show she still had it together, something to brush it all off. Unfortunately, all her numb brain could come up with was this, "Um, spank me?"
As soon as she said it, she was horrified. 'Spank me?' That wasn't what she wanted to say at all. Her face turned red. She stumbled trying to re-gain her feet, falling into Mr. Maguire. He caught her.
"Now, now," he said laughing, "that won't be necessary. Not unless I want a sexual harassment suit. Besides, there's plenty of time for you to re-do the copies."
Thoroughly humiliated, she mumbled an apology and a thank you, scurried out the door, dumped the heap of papers on her desk, and fled to the ladies room.
She was glad that he would be out of the office all day, since she didn't know how she could face him. She barely acknowledged his return, but had been careful to leave the two-sided copies in a prominent location on his desk. She figured she had totally spoiled the image of smart competence she was trying to present. How could she last out the next two and a half weeks? Her boss never said another word about the incident. The next day, however, when she wrote "Harry Thigh" instead of "Harry Tighe" on a phone message, he brought it to her attention with a chuckle, and warned her in jest that he might have to "get out his paddle." And so their little inside joke was born.
Heidi soon found out that Margaret's job was a lot tougher than she thought. Basic clerical skills were not enough. There was a mind-numbing array of form pleadings, contracts and other documents on the computer, each intended as the format for a specialized use. It seemed impossible to keep them all straight. Then there were the clients, with their individual quirks, who each had to be handled accordingly. It was the same with all the other attorneys, those in this firm and those Maguire had to deal with from the outside. Scheduling meetings was a nightmare.
But Bob Maguire was patient with her, taking time whenever he could to show her the way he wanted things done. When he pointed out an error she made, he might then clap his hands together with a loud smack, and they'd both laugh, knowing what it meant. Or she might shrug her shoulders, and say, "So spank me." When she'd put a pesky lawyer's call through as an 'emergency' and the fellow would talk interminably on a piddling problem, Heidi would look in apologetically to see her boss mouth the words, "better cover your rear." If Mr. Maguire would go on and on, over-explaining the problem with some little thing she'd goofed up, she'd just look him in the eye and hand him a ruler. And so it went.
Although he was more than twice her age, she began to believe they were forging a friendship rather than just a work relationship. He would ask about her life outside work, and he would fill her in on some of his personal interests when she would inquire. As the tongues around the office began to wag about this nascent relationship, Heidi secretly felt pleased. He hadn't yet so much as suggested having lunch together or going out for a drink, but Heidi still felt she was making significant progress.
Gradually, as the three weeks wound down, Heidi was beginning to feel she was getting a grip on the job. She kept hoping there would be one big task that she could make an impression with. It turned out there was one, but unfortunately the result was not at all what she had in mind.
It was her final Friday before Margaret was to return. Heidi stayed late, working feverishly to get things caught up in order to leave the desk in good shape. Mr. Maguire had arrived back late from court, and was now returning the numerous phone messages she had left for him.
"Heidi, could you please come in here a minute?" His voice sounded unusually stern. Heidi dropped what she was doing to hurry in.
"Yes?"
"I just talked to Larry Weinstein about the Cipollini closing. He's not a happy camper."
"He did seem kind of on edge when I talked to him. Something about the overnight mailing. But I called Federal Express about the delivery, and they said it arrived this morning. The closing wasn't until this afternoon."
"It arrived, did it? And just where did it arrive?"
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