by Louis Woodley
The beauty of a massive federal budget is that no one knows all the possible ins and outs of what it includes. So if you can find the right number of similarly-thinking legislators and convince them of the importance of your demonstration project, then there's a way to tuck an appropriation neatly away inside a block grant. In the grand scheme of things, a few million dollars to outfit and prove that the proposal would work was a drop in the bucket compared to the potential benefits.
This is especially true when said appropriation might be opposed by namby-pamby bleeding hearts who thought that joining hands and singing Kumbaya was enough to solve the problem. No, the situation was getting worse all the time, and sterner measures were called for to combat the growing misbehavior problem of disaffected youth. But the only way to convince the general public was to offer visible proof of success. By courting conservative legislators sympathetic to their cause, the funding for two demonstration projects was secured, sliding under the radar of those who might consider such harsh treatment traumatizing for the little darlings. Yes, there would be a certain amount of trauma involved, particularly to their backsides, but as the French say, 'You can't make an omelet without cracking a few eggs'.
One of the camps was for teenage boys, but this story chronicles the experiences of the first group at the camp established for teenage girls. To make it sound patriotic, it was called Camp Soaring Eagle. But the campers had an entirely different name for it: Camp Sore Butt. The moniker was well-deserved.
The concept of 'harsh love' wasn't new; there were various wilderness camps that took troublemakers out of their element in order to reform them. However, such entities had been private organizations. In this case the federal government was bankrolling the entire program, so the coffers were opened and rules twisted to whatever the organizers (Return to Basics LLC) deemed necessary for success... an isolated location; all expenses covered for the residents; a blackout from the outside world for the girls; an iron-tight confidentiality agreement; and suspending of certain rights and financial concessions in order to assure that the right staff were fully trained and competent for the tasks they'd undertake. For the true believers in government there wasn't a rule that couldn't be finagled in order to assure that the demonstration project would succeed.
Eventually all was prepared, and the only remaining task was to obtain the campers to experiment with. Thankfully there was no shortage of parents, school administrators, and court officials willing to ship girls off to get their attitudes adjusted. The following announcement connected them:
Do you know a teenager (age 15-17) who is out of control? Are they ill-mannered and don't follow rules? Are they disciplined at school repeatedly for the same infractions? Are they in trouble with law enforcement for petty offenses? Are they going to get in serious trouble if they don't straighten themselves out? If so, there is hope.
We're looking for teenagers who sneak out, stay out late, come home drunk and/or high, and are disrespectful to authority. Their grades are suffering and they're getting detentions and suspensions from school. They're lying, stealing, committing vandalism, hanging out with troublemakers, and despite all you've tried, their behavior persists.
Fortunately, we have a solution. Return to Basics LLC is conducting a demonstration project, establishing two month-long residential programs to test the efficacy of old-fashioned discipline in effecting behavior change in recalcitrant teenagers. Our Lead Researcher is the renowned Michelle Campbell Ph.D.
Selected participants will be isolated in a rural camp environment for the length of the program to limit distractions. Our focus will be on changing their problematic behavior. And there is absolutely no cost for participation in the project. All expenses, including travel to the site for the child and a parent/guardian, will be covered.
Intense counseling will focus on and root out the reasons for your child's poor choices, and the strict camp lifestyle will teach them that their actions have consequences. When their camp experience is completed, their attitudes will have changed, and parents will be taught how to prevent back-sliding once their children return home.
To request consideration of a young person for admission, complete the camp application at returntobasicsLLC.org
The camp was situated deep in the woods; anyone stumbling across it would mistake it for a conventional campground. There were four cabins for the resident girls; each slept six girls plus their two assigned counselors, for a total of 24 girls. There was a dining hall, a bathhouse, an assembly hall, an office, classrooms and residences for the other staff.
The only fault that could be found was with the eagle theme of the camp. Naming the residence cabins Bald, Golden, Tawny, and Crested sounded moronic to staff and campers alike. Some things just defy explanation.
The nearest town was miles away to discourage any attempt to escape. If any girl tried to bolt, the local sheriff was aware of and highly supportive of the camp's mission, so sympathy wouldn't be forthcoming. Any strange girls found wandering would be delivered straight back to the camp to face the consequences.
To avoid any bias in the results, all 24 girls would arrive and leave as a group, allowing them to be analyzed together. Allowing girls to arrive and leave on a piecemeal basis could result in newcomers being warned what to expect and confounding the analysis. In order to gain acceptance (and overcome objections) they'd have to prove that the camp worked. That was also why they limited the girls to ages 15-17; close enough in age to get measurable results without an 18 year old claiming to be an adult and being held against her will.
There wasn't a prayer of success without the right staff in place. They'd weeded through numerous candidates before selecting the ones that best meshed with the goals of the program.
Director Donna Nixon came from the juvenile justice system, where she saw plenty of girls who could have used a brisk visit across her lap if she'd been allowed. Her own daughter had learned that the consequences for her behavior usually involved a leather strap. Donna didn't want her to grow up to be like the girls she dealt with on a daily basis. Her daughter Paula thought that she was overly strict but she viewed herself as a caring mother, who spanked early, often and thoroughly. Paula was doing well in college so obviously the maternal discipline worked for her. It would eventually do the same for these girls, but they had lots of catching up to do.
Assistant Camp Director Catherine Wallace was in charge of the educational component. Just because they were in the middle of nowhere didn't mean they wouldn't be forced to learn. Many of the girls chosen had been marginal, apathetic students, so the goal of the program was to re-motivate them to start taking their schoolwork seriously once they returned to the real world. The renewed enthusiasm for their education would be one of the camp's selling points.
She'd been the headmistress of a boarding school that served as a third or fourth chance for girls of wealth and status who'd screwed up repeatedly elsewhere. The school allowed corporal punishment and she'd used it liberally during her years in charge. So she was used to dealing with brats who thought they were hot shit because of who their daddy was and teaching them that she didn't care one bit. The most entitled ones were the ones who most desperately needed a good butt roasting, and that would likely be true among the new arrivals.
Getting Dr. Michelle Campbell to join as the leader of the research team had been a coup for the corporation. Not only had it added an immediate aura of legitimacy, it had led to a ready made source for counselors who understood and accepted her philosophies on discipline. Dr. Campbell was known as an outspoken advocate that spanking was not only biblically sanctioned but something that was necessary to help young adults develop strong moral fiber, and she vigorously defended that viewpoint against those who claimed it was barbaric. She didn't hide her thoughts on the matter; visitors to her office couldn't miss the framed Bible quotes about chastising with the rod of correction that backed up her beliefs:
And she lived by those rules at home as her now-grown children could attest. Her husband had done much of the heavy lifting when it came to punishing their teenagers, but she owned a ferocious wooden hairbrush and scorched many a bottom with it. She still kept it in her office. There could hardly be any claims of resentment on the part of her children, considering that her daughter Mary was one of the counselors. But Mary was also aware that neither her mother nor Director Nixon would cut her one inch of slack if she screwed up.
Dr. Campbell was a star at her faith-based college for putting it on the map with her frequent appearances, which helped attract parents and students of a traditional mindset. The college authorized corporal punishment of misbehaving students, so parents were assured that their teen kids would be kept on a strict path of education rather than boozing and carousing around. Interest in the college always spiked after another of her national appearances defending the practice. It also provided a ready made source of camp counselors.
A few phone calls from a sympathetic senator assured the school of the project's importance, and convinced them to modify their graduate program requirements. Their graduate program fit nicely with their goals, so it was arranged that both male and female grad students would receive credit for serving as counselors at the two camps and completing the rest of their coursework online. The grad students selected were highly familiar with the concept of misdeeds leading to sore bottoms.
Cathy Tyson and Sarah Mitchell were doctoral students selected to serve as Dr. Campbell's Research Assistants. Sadly, Sarah had submitted an unsuccessful initial draft of her dissertation proposal to Dr. Campbell several weeks earlier. The professor had taken her across her knees and delivered three solid minutes of agonizing hairbrush wallops to express her displeasure with her efforts. Now she'd upped the ante considerably. Sarah was to be working on the proposal in her spare time at camp and present a new version by the end of the first session. If this version was just as dreadful, she'd receive a FIVE minute hairbrush spanking before the entire camp. Sarah had no doubt that her professor would follow through on her threat to humiliate her in front of the younger grad students and campers.
Anna Robertson had been a hall advisor as an undergrad and had actual job experience walloping miscreant freshmen. Based on that experience, she was selected to be the Head Counselor, supervising the other eight counselors. It should be noted that they would describe her as a blazing bitch. They would receive zero sympathy from her if they dropped the ball (since the college's punishment policies were still in effect). She wouldn't hesitate to make an example out of them, just to curry favor with Dr. Campbell.
Jaimie Austin, Sydney Taylor, and Karen Raymond were the teachers, all of whom were experienced in dealing with these sorts of girls, so their snarky attitudes would get them nowhere. Jaimie came from a juvenile detention facility, while Sydney and Karen had both worked in actual prisons. After dealing with numerous students a week, only having 24 to teach was a breeze by comparison. Not to mention the fact that they could beat the butts of troublemaking or apathetic students.
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