by Louis Woodley
Between her classes, teaching, and working as a waitress at night, it had already been a long week for Gwen Nolan. Finally her last class of the week was over and she'd have a bit of down time before dealing with the half-drunk poor-tippers that would flood the diner until the wee hours.
The job sucked but she needed the extra income; at least things were better than last year. Her teaching assistantship helped cover her room and board along with a healthy tuition reduction while she studied for her Master's Degree in Psychology. Trying to teach half-awake freshmen at 8am twice a week on top of trying to do her own schoolwork was its own special form of hell, but it paid the bills. However the waitressing job provided her with some supplemental income; she had no social life, so if she had nothing better to do then why not make a few extra bucks?
Professor Carol Robinson was both her faculty advisor and the supervisor for the introductory Psych class she was teaching. She was also the mentor for Gwen's thesis; Gwen was in the Fall Semester of her second year and still had a full year to go before she graduated, but she needed to at least come up with a subject. So it was fair to say that Dr. Robinson was the person most in control of Gwen's continued success.
Dr. Robinson fascinated and terrified Gwen in equal measures. Her research credentials were first rate and her class highly informative. But at the same time her gruff demeanor was intimidating. Failing to have an answer in class was met with a response of 'do the reading or don't come to my class'. A poorly thought out response was picked apart with the skill of a defense attorney.
Coming to her class under-prepared could leave a student chewed to ribbons. At times Gwen thought it didn't feel like she was taking her class so much as surviving it. But it was mandatory for graduation, and as Dr. Robinson was the only one who taught Psych class, there was no avoiding her. Gwen always felt drained by the time the class was over.
At last it was 2:15 and Dr. Robinson brought the class to a close by reminding the students of their reading assignments for Monday and their paper due in two weeks. Happy to escape and start enjoying their weekend, the class rose in unison and began moving towards the door. Gwen was swimming upstream with them when she was suddenly brought up short.
"Miss Nolan, please stay for a moment."
What had she done? Several classmates gave her sympathetic looks, but they were happy not to be the one on their professor's radar at that moment. The classroom quickly cleared, leaving only the professor and student behind. Gwen stood unmoving by the door. She was hesitant to approach the podium, afraid of what mistake she'd made that attracted Dr. Robinson's attention.
"Will you please come over here; there's no need for me to have to talk across half the room."
Gwen slowly came over to her professor. Dr. Robinson was a statuesque woman in her late 40's. The slight graying of her hair, combined with her encyclopedic knowledge and stern demeanor gave her a daunting presence.
Gwen, however, could charitably be called unimposing. She preferred to remain in the background, not drawing attention to herself by only speaking up when called upon. Her small stature made her appear much younger than her 24 years. Her students had been shocked to discover that she was their instructor rather than a classmate.
She felt like an elementary school student called into the Principal's office. She hoped that she didn't look as nervous as she felt.
"Miss Nolan, there are several issues that I have concerns about. However, I have a brief meeting I have to attend starting momentarily. So I will see you in my office at 3pm sharp." Then she picked up her materials and left, never giving Gwen an opportunity to ask what the issues were or to even agree that 3pm was a convenient time for her to meet. It had been presented as a fait accompli; Dr. Robinson expected her to be there and she'd better show up.
So now Gwen had more than a half-hour with nothing to do but wait, and she had plenty to worry about between then and 3pm. The first year in the program she just had a graduate assistantship, which helped with tuition but didn't pay as much. So she had to work more hours outside of school to cover expenses and her grades had been less than stellar as a result. The assistantship had involved menial tasks like collating papers and making copies, and Dr. Robinson had been snippy to deal with when she was dissatisfied (which was often).
It was only because another student was forced to withdraw from the program that the Teaching Assistantship opened up in the first place. Professor Robinson's reluctant approval of Gwen for the position make her feel like her mentor was constantly looking over her shoulder and second-guessing her decision to trust Gwen with the position. And, truthfully, she'd made some mistakes.
This was the first semester she'd had Dr. Robinson as an instructor and she quickly discovered that the rumors about her being a tough professor were true. She was fighting for a B at this point and felt Dr. Robinson's disapproval of her performance. And her thesis preparation to date hadn't gone well so far either.
Professor Robinson had riddled her initial proposal, pointing out all the flaws until it death-spiraled into the ground. Since then she'd been struggling to find a premise that would satisfy her advisor. She had plenty of time to do the research but the inability to get a subject approved was starting to play on her nerves. She was confident that the finished product would one day be a first-rate thesis, thanks to Dr. Robinson's guidance. That is, if agonizing over it didn't kill her first. So Gwen had plenty to torture herself about before her audience with her mentor.
The meeting was a nightmare from Gwen's perspective. It turned out that Dr. Robinson had concerns about all the subjects she'd fretted about. She admitted that she'd been late posting the grades and returning their first papers because it had taken her longer than expected to read and grade them all. But Dr. Robinson had also received complaints that Gwen wasn't always organized for her classes and didn't maintain order so that their discussions veered off-tangent from the subject at hand. Gwen conceded that she needed to be better at taking charge and being prepared.
She tried to plead that she'd had less time to prepare than the other instructors since she'd been a last minute hire, but Dr. Robinson wasn't interested in hearing excuses. If Gwen was too overwhelmed to do the job properly then she was free to resign and they would find someone else. Gwen assured her that she needed the position. But Dr. Robinson was more concerned over what was best for a roomful of students rather than what a struggling grad student needed. Did Gwen want the job and was she willing to put forth the effort required to be a successful instructor? Stung, Gwen swore she would straighten out her performance; Dr. Robinson informed her that she could keep the position for now, but she would be monitoring the situation closely.
But that wasn't the only gripe that Dr. Robinson had. She couldn't tell if Gwen was prepared in her class, because she rarely spoke up during discussions. Her participation grade was currently the lowest in the class, further dragging down her lackluster grades to date. Gwen admitted to a lack of confidence but claimed that she read and understood the materials. But, she was asked, if she was supposedly reading and understanding them so well, then why were her grades mediocre? Gwen had no response.
Finally, the subject of her thesis came up. She was reminded that she wasn't even off the ground yet whereas most of her classmates had at least fleshed out a rough idea of where they wanted to go with their research. Dr. Robinson also found this lack of progress disappointing.
"Frankly, at this point I have severe doubts that you can successfully complete the program. I'm going to have to see significant improvement in your performance before I can recommend you to continue beyond this semester. There's no point in you wasting our time and your money."
Gwen felt sick. She had to improve her teaching, hike up her grades, and get moving on her thesis or Dr. Robinson would recommend kicking her out. She couldn't let that happen after all the effort she'd put in, and promised that she would try harder. But Dr. Robinson appeared unconvinced.
"I'm not sure that 'promising to try harder' will be enough, given how much improvement you're going to need to make."
Gwen begged for the opportunity to prove herself.
"Well, there is another possibility but it would require your complete dedication and agreement to comply with the requirements."
Gwen was grasping at straws by this point and was willing to at least hear her mentor out. Later she would realize this was the moment she'd been set up.
"Are you familiar with my research on obedience and motivation?" asked Dr. Robinson.
Gwen admitted she was; she'd skimmed through a couple of Dr. Robinson's papers when she was making copies for a conference.
"Well, this would be an individualized training program created especially to meet your needs. I cannot promise that by itself it will change your performance. That will be strictly up to you, but it will give you the tools and incentive to do so. This will be a private arrangement between us and not sanctioned by the college in any way. You may find it particularly arduous, but eventually it will make you a more successful student. You may come for lunch on Sunday at 1pm at my house and we can talk further then."
The offer seemed to be a thinly veiled threat; her mentor didn't think she would succeed any other way. If she failed to show up it could cost her TA position and her advisor's recommendation to allow continuing in the program.
Or was she being paranoid? This was Dr. Robinson's specialty and at face value she was offering to provide her with the skills necessary to succeed in the program. She could take offense if Gwen spurned her offer of assistance; if she turned her down but failed to improve sufficiently then her mentor could legitimately say "I tried but you rejected my help" as she booted her out of the program.
But what could she do even if it was a threat? Dr. Robinson was a highly respected faculty member, whereas Gwen was a struggling grad student, and no one else had overheard the conversation. If she claimed to have been threatened into compliance Dr. Robinson would turn it back onto her as an unsuccessful student looking to blame others for her own failings. She knew how that would play out.
Besides, she WAS struggling and she didn't have much to lose by playing along with her professor. Even if it wound up being nothing but meaningless platitudes she'd at least get on her advisor's good side for playing along (and not have to cook for once). So she agreed to come for Sunday lunch and got Dr. Robinson's address from her. After that she was dismissed.
On Sunday Gwen double-checked the address before ringing the doorbell. It was an older home and she briefly humored herself by thinking it was just the sort of place a mad scientist would have a laboratory in the basement. Then she chided herself for her imagination running overboard.
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